I feel as if I have been slowly conditioned into an insidious boredom, that consumes my thoughts with compulsions to do meaningless actions to distract myself from observing the world around me; and by doing so, this boredom has obstructed any possibility of perceiving reality in any true sense and has lulled me into some fantasy world that I feel I may never truly awaken from. For the terrible truth is my whole life I have not lived, for I have had any sense of true freedom stolen from me by the very people who attempt to force me to stay in this dream world. So it seems I must begin anew, almost as if I need to be birthed again and brought into the world as an infant and relearn what it means to be human. Since it seems we are rapidly losing that very humanity that sets us apart from other creatures on our planet. As our culture degrades around us into more and more shocking events that seem to stem from some arrogant, immature desire to simply out-do others in an attempt to show superiority. Our popular culture has degraded into a vast web of conspiracy fueled by rumors and drama. It's sole goal is to stress those involved into a such a great state of duress that they do insane things in an attempt to lash out at the very web they're entrapped in. And we as humans are so dissociated to these other human beings, that we literally watch their every move and criticize their every human impulse so that they can't be anything but some illusion of what we perceive them to be.
For we do not see the pop star as a human being, but as some mysterious, unattainable rank in society that is reserved for only a few and the rest of us are unoworthy of. The scary part of this conclusion is that this sudden idea is implanted in your subconscious that you are less than that other human being. You may not actively think that way about that pop star, but face it, in the back of your mind there is this small, constant voice that speaks to you while you are alone and says you aren't as good as that person. This makes you feel jealous and quite possibly enraged at the idea that this person is better than you when you're told all you're childhood that everyone is equal. Well if we are all equal why does it not feel that way? Why do we have these nagging thoughts, these self-conscious thorns that poke away at our self-esteem and seem to come from no where?
Well the simple explanation is that these jealous feelings are associated with our nature as human beings to want or desire more than others. Or better put it is our instincts of survival from a time when we fought nature to simply carry on as a species. But as our tools, methods, and civilizations became more advanced we were able to turn the deadliest of seasons into a mere annoyance. But that biological fear of nature caused from centuries of attempting to survive has steadily grown into an insidious greed. At first though, greed was considered good for it would cause an individual to contribute to society to get back in comfort what he put in with hard work. But we soon became unsatisfied with the new comforts that technology and human advancement had created for us and the majority of the population has now become either excessively apathetic or greedy. The most avarice of the population has now grown so wealthy they make the economic inequality of ancient Rome during the times of Julius Caesar look like socialism. The worst part is they have destroyed what has made this country work. You get out of anything, only what you put into it.
So back to my original point of boredom, I feel as if I am only bored because that is my only option. I'm surrounded by anything I could ever want, a warm home, a comfortable bed, a laptop, a t.v., an xbox, a UFO chair, a couch, a metal detector, plenty of food, plenty of water; and all of these things leave me hollow. I have nothing to want for, because asking for more would seem morally unacceptable, and throwing away everything I have that keeps me comfortable is too frightening of a concept. My whole life I have been conditioned to want things, to get money, to buy things, and preoccupy myself with all this stuff that has no true value. And by distracting myself my entire life, I have lost touch with what I am as human being. Almost as if I had been lobotomized overnight and I had no say or any idea that it was happening. And now that my mind has been so confused and distracted I have nothing but an empty sense of boredom whose only true purpose is to remind me I have no means of escape. For even if I worked myself to the bone and contributed all I had to society, I would receive in payment next to nothing so that the few who have been so consumed by their own hollow greed can fulfill any desire they wish in an attempt to block out the boredom that has infected us all.
For we do not see the pop star as a human being, but as some mysterious, unattainable rank in society that is reserved for only a few and the rest of us are unoworthy of. The scary part of this conclusion is that this sudden idea is implanted in your subconscious that you are less than that other human being. You may not actively think that way about that pop star, but face it, in the back of your mind there is this small, constant voice that speaks to you while you are alone and says you aren't as good as that person. This makes you feel jealous and quite possibly enraged at the idea that this person is better than you when you're told all you're childhood that everyone is equal. Well if we are all equal why does it not feel that way? Why do we have these nagging thoughts, these self-conscious thorns that poke away at our self-esteem and seem to come from no where?
Well the simple explanation is that these jealous feelings are associated with our nature as human beings to want or desire more than others. Or better put it is our instincts of survival from a time when we fought nature to simply carry on as a species. But as our tools, methods, and civilizations became more advanced we were able to turn the deadliest of seasons into a mere annoyance. But that biological fear of nature caused from centuries of attempting to survive has steadily grown into an insidious greed. At first though, greed was considered good for it would cause an individual to contribute to society to get back in comfort what he put in with hard work. But we soon became unsatisfied with the new comforts that technology and human advancement had created for us and the majority of the population has now become either excessively apathetic or greedy. The most avarice of the population has now grown so wealthy they make the economic inequality of ancient Rome during the times of Julius Caesar look like socialism. The worst part is they have destroyed what has made this country work. You get out of anything, only what you put into it.
So back to my original point of boredom, I feel as if I am only bored because that is my only option. I'm surrounded by anything I could ever want, a warm home, a comfortable bed, a laptop, a t.v., an xbox, a UFO chair, a couch, a metal detector, plenty of food, plenty of water; and all of these things leave me hollow. I have nothing to want for, because asking for more would seem morally unacceptable, and throwing away everything I have that keeps me comfortable is too frightening of a concept. My whole life I have been conditioned to want things, to get money, to buy things, and preoccupy myself with all this stuff that has no true value. And by distracting myself my entire life, I have lost touch with what I am as human being. Almost as if I had been lobotomized overnight and I had no say or any idea that it was happening. And now that my mind has been so confused and distracted I have nothing but an empty sense of boredom whose only true purpose is to remind me I have no means of escape. For even if I worked myself to the bone and contributed all I had to society, I would receive in payment next to nothing so that the few who have been so consumed by their own hollow greed can fulfill any desire they wish in an attempt to block out the boredom that has infected us all.
Comments
Post a Comment